I think I’ve been at this place several times before. Well, not exactly THIS place, more like a few steps back. The place of getting past my past, of finding out who I really am, and who God is. I’ve been here before, and never stood the test. The questions, uncertainties of what lies ahead have always kept me from continuing this journey. Can I trust God? That’s what it seems to boil down to. And I hear the Father of Lies whispering in my ear, “It will never change. You’ll never change. Despite all your best efforts, and no matter how great God seems, you will never be more than you are now. In fact, you’re really much less than you think you are. Just give up, it’s not worth the effort and pain.” And that’s where I have stumbled and stopped, every time. But not this time. This hope that flickers inside me just won’t die. Sometimes the flame burns low, to the point of being snuffed out altogether. Then He comes and gently breaths life back in to me, and renews me, fanning the flame of my desire to find Him, the real God. I’ve been at this spot before, and always gave into my fears and shame and insecurities. But this time, with His courage and His redemption and His grace, I will continue this journey of discovering.
“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice”
~Isaiah 42:3
